Mom: I’m taking them to see Matilda in the spring, want to come?
Dad: Matilda? The spy?
Mom: That’s Harriet.
Dad: Oh, Matilda. The Chokey?
1. I make so much sense.
2. The first thing he remembers.
I was always one of those people that was a total asshole about having a great middle name
Me until i learned my parents didn’t bother naming me.
me until after months of asking them to fix it they finally did
me until they didn’t bother giving me a middle name 17 years after i was born…
ok i have some issues with the name thing but as a kid i fucking loved my middle name and now i say i don’t have one… does anyone even know it? do i tell people still?
My father wants to go out, to see the damage, be able to say he went out in it, also to y’know see if one of his stores flooded. Legit.
My mom is freaking the fuck out at him “Don’t go out you could get electrocuted there are trees down there are live wires and winds the car could get swept away etc etc etc. Just listening to her talk is stressing me the fuck out and the annoyingest.
Do I make sense yet?
I have this drinking game I like to play called “drink every time something my mom says or does makes me cringe.” except I don’t actually drink because even I don’t hate my liver that much.
and my dad owns more spandex than anyone ever should. #cyclist’s daughter problems.
“Forgot to tell you; miriam says my dad says zbignew bryzinski rented a room from my great grandmother.”
“Also: 1933 my grandfather kicked out of amsterdam zionist club for being too communist.”
Do I make sense yet?
Design by Simon Fletcher. Powered by Tumblr.
© Copyright 2010
